VS.
Dear Dwight Howard,
I'm sorry that basketball fans around the world doubt you. Miraculously you aren't a household name regardless of your alarmingly handsome Biden-esque smile, and penchant for dunking the living shit out of a basketball. You are the superstar that I pray will save us all from seeing happiness brought to the dregs of America (LA). For your trouble, the basketball gods (including myself) will provide you with a championship trophy, an axe body spray endorsment deal, and a brand new Shaq freestyle.
Much Respect,
Michael
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